there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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