we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
