Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
