no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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