Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
