did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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