You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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