About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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