what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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