is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
