Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
