don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
