Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
