She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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