Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm getting married
To pizza
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize