My balls are so social today.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
