If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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