i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
