i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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