he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
