Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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