Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
