Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
