If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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