i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
