Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
