Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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