after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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