Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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