I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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