What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
