why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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