I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
