jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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