I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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