Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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