dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
