I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
