threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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