we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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