I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
