nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
