do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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