we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
