i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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