...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
