You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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