sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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