It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
