chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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