I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
