Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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