Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
