Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
