I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
