Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
