sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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