The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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