Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
