M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
