There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
