So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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