the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
